Namaste Nourished’s Take on “Oreogate”
If you’re on social media, you likely saw something about “Oreogate” recently. If you aren’t on social media, or missed this debate, the long story short is: a mom asked other moms not to send Oreos, chocolate, or candy in their children’s lunches, after her daughter came home upset at seeing her friends eating Oreos, a food restricted in this girl’s house. As eating disorder dietitians who work with both children and adults, we had some thoughts on this whole controversy. If you’ve been around our blog for a while, you can probably guess how we feel, but let’s dive into why we feel that way, and what we recommend for parents when feeding their kids.
Our Take on Restricting Foods
As eating disorder dietitians, we’ve seen this story so many times before. A food or entire food group is eliminated from a diet. Sometimes for a legitimate reason at first, sometimes from influence from either media (social or traditional or both). Restricting this food only makes someone crave it more, causing a loop of trying to find foods that will satisfy their craving, only to be disappointed when it’s not the real thing. Or someone restricts a food for a long period of time, and eventually overdoes it on the food they’ve been craving for so long.
In our opinion, the only foods that should be restricted or not kept in the house are ones that someone is allergic to, or foods that have spoiled. We believe that all foods fit, and keeping foods around makes them feel less intimidating and reduces them to just food. Read our blog on Unconditional Permission to Eat here, and why this mentality is backed by evidence, both scientific and experiential.
An Easier Way to Approach Feeding Kids
At Namaste Nourished, we are big fans of Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility (sDOR). Essentially, it recognizes that children are learning to eat and enjoy a variety of foods, and that they know (or will learn) their body best. The Division of Responsibility also helps reduce power struggles, eating disorder prevalence, and helps children tune into their own hunger and fullness cues, which sets them up for a lifetime of success in eating.
In the Division of Responsibility, there are responsibilities on both the adult and the child. The adult decides the What, When, and Where, while the child decides the Whether and How Much.
What- what food is offered
When - when meals and snacks happen
Where- where eating happens
Whether- whether or not they eat the provided food
How Much- how much of each option to eat
For an adult who didn’t grow up in this framework, it might feel scary to give autonomy to a child around food. We completely understand, but also want to reiterate that the sDOR framework is proven to work, and ultimately leads to happier eaters and families.
The Division of Responsibility and Oreogate
When we’re looking at Oreogate from the sDOR perspective, the mom who asked the other moms not to send Oreos, chocolate, or candy is feeling fear that she can’t trust her child’s instincts around food. In our experience, as both eating disorder dietitians and parents, allowing children (and adults!) the freedom to eat a variety of whole and processed foods without morality towards any of them, will allow for everyone to eat and enjoy all foods.
We’d love for a world where everyone rejects diet culture (read more about Rejecting Diet Culture in our blog here), and have conversations at home about how all foods fit, and there aren’t good or bad foods. We’d love for a world where people can feel comfortable and confident feeding their families, and know that what works for them might be different than others, but that morality doesn’t have a place on your plate, or in your child’s lunchbox. This is a dream for us as weight-inclusive, eating disorder dietitians, but we love educating parents to make this come true one kiddo at a time.
If you want to learn more about the Division of Responsibility, how to incorporate it into your home (no matter the age of your kids), or how to allow Oreos in your house, please reach out to us. We’d love to help you find food freedom.
To learn more about Ellyn Satter and the Division of Responsibility, visit ellynsatterinstitute.org.