Signs Your Child Might Be Struggling With an Eating Disorder
Eating disorders rarely announce themselves loudly. For many families, they show up quietly, masking themselves into daily routines, mood shifts, or as small changes that are easy to brush off as stress, personality changes, or “just being a kid.”
If you’re here because something about your child doesn’t feel quite right, that matters. You don’t need certainty or a diagnosis to pay attention. Many parents look back and realize they sensed something long before they had language for it. Early intervention matters, so trust your instincts.
This post walks through signs that can suggest a child or teen may be struggling with an eating disorder. Not every sign alone means an eating disorder is present. What matters most is patterns over time and changes from your child’s usual self. Eating disorders are complex mental health disorders, and if you have concerns, please contact your child’s primary care provider or another health professional.
Changes Around Food and Eating
Food is often the first place parents notice something shifting, but the changes can be subtle and easily dismissed. In our culture, some of these behaviors can even seem normal.
You might see your child skipping meals or insisting they already ate. They may begin avoiding certain foods or entire food groups, often framed as wanting to be healthier or more disciplined. Meals can start taking much longer, with food cut into very small pieces or moved around the plate without much being eaten. They may even be giving their food to the dog. Some children want to eat separately from the family or feel noticeably anxious when plans involve restaurants, holidays, people other than family, or eating out. (Check out our other blog post to read more about the questions you should be asking yourself.)
These behaviors don’t always look extreme at first. Some may even make sense with the nature of a teen’s busy schedule – such as asking to eat dinner in their bedroom so they can start homework right away after soccer practice. Over time, however, fear, rigidity, or guilt around food can take hold and the eating disorder will worsen.
Shifts in Mood or Personality
Eating disorders affect far more than eating. They change how the brain functions, how emotions are regulated, and how a child experiences the world.
Parents often describe feeling like their child has become more withdrawn, irritable, or emotionally reactive. A child who was once easygoing may become perfectionistic or deeply self critical. Anxiety may increase, especially around meals or body related topics. Others seem flat or disconnected, losing interest in activities they once loved.
These changes are sometimes dismissed as normal hormonal changes. While moodiness can be part of growing up, consistent emotional shifts paired with food or body concerns are worth taking seriously. Watch patterns over time, to get a sense of how often this is happening.
Body Image Concerns
Body dissatisfaction is common in our culture, but eating disorders prey upon it.
A child may spend a lot of time checking mirrors, weighing themselves, or comparing their body to peers and people on social media. You might hear frequent negative comments about their body, weight, or shape. Some children begin wearing baggy clothes to hide their body or show a strong fear of weight gain, even when their weight is medically appropriate.
It is important to remember that you cannot tell whether someone has an eating disorder by looking at them or by their weight alone. Eating disorders occur in all body sizes, genders, and backgrounds. According to ANAD, fewer than 6% of people with eating disorders are medically diagnosed as “underweight.”
Exercise That is Rigid, Driven, or Compulsive
Movement ise a healthy part of life when done for the joy of moving one’s body and for benefits that don’t include calorie burning. For some children, however, it becomes a way to control weight, manage anxiety, or cope with guilt.
You may notice distress if they cannot exercise, rigid routines that must be followed no matter what, or exercising despite injury or illness. Exercise may feel less like something they enjoy and more like something they feel obligated to do. Some children use movement as a way to compensate for eating.
When exercise feels emotionally charged or inflexible, it deserves a closer look, curiosity, and support. Read more about how exercise and eating disorders go together in our blog post.
Physical and Medical Signs
Because children and adolescents are still developing, the physical impacts of disordered eating can appear quickly.
Parents may notice fatigue, dizziness, frequent headaches, or difficulty concentrating. Some children are always cold, experience hair thinning, or complain of stomach issues like bloating or constipation. Periods may be delayed, become irregular, or stop entirely. School performance can decline as the brain struggles to function without adequate nourishment.
These symptoms are often treated separately, but together they may point to an underlying issue with nutrition.
Social Withdrawal and Secrecy
Eating disorders thrive in isolation. A child may start avoiding family meals, social gatherings, or events involving food. They may prefer to eat alone or disappear after meals. Defensiveness around questions about eating or exercise is common. You might also notice increased time spent on social media focused on food, fitness, or appearance, along with pulling away from friends or activities they once enjoyed.
Listening to Your Instincts
Many parents later say they knew something was wrong before they could explain it. That instinct is worth trusting. You shouldn’t wait until things are severe to seek support. Early intervention can make a significant difference in recovery.
If you are concerned, start with gentle conversations and curiosity focused on observations rather than blame. Center your concern on how your child seems to be feeling, not on weight or appearance. Reaching out to professionals who specialize in eating disorders can help clarify what is going on and what support might be helpful.
Eating disorders are not a choice, a phase, or a reflection of parenting failure. They are complex mental health conditions shaped by biology, environment, temperament, and culture.
If parts of this resonated with you, you are not alone, and neither is your child. With the right support, recovery is possible. If you need help understanding next steps or finding appropriate care, support is available. Click here to meet with a dietitian to talk about you or your child's needs.